There you are, tumbling through the front door with your date like a scene out of a romantic comedy. It’s pretty obvious you’re about to hook up for the first time, and you feel all types of ways. Nervous? Yes. Excited? Of course. But you might also be worried about making some kind of “mistake.”
While not everyone gets nervous when they’re with someone new, it is totally normal to feel a bit self-conscious or awkward, or to wonder what’s “OK” and what isn’t. As sex and relationship therapist Courtney Geter, LMFT, tells Bustle, “These feelings can be triggered by thoughts about your sexual performance, body image issues, and comparing yourself to this person’s other partners or hookups.” The nerve-racking list is endless, really. But it doesn’t mean you have to have a bad time.
However you define “hook up” â€” a one night stand, the first time you have sex with a partner-to-be, etc. â€” it should be as fun and healthy an experience as possible. So, here are some common mistakes everyone makes when doing the deed. Avoid them, and you should have yourself one heck of a time.
1. Not Stopping To Talk About Your Likes & Dislikes
While it may be momentarily awkward, don’t be afraid to wax poetic about your thoughts and desires before you have sex. And don’t feel weird about asking your partner what they like, either.
This might mean pausing for a brief moment to be honest about what you’re looking for, and you can certainly make it a part of the sexy conversation you have whilst tumbling into bed, as a way to make it easier.